Bollocks at Burton (L2)

Hello all -

My first post of the new season for one reason or another. As the season started there was some debate over the future of the manager. Three league victories seemed to silence the doubters, then a couple of bad defeats have brought our concerns back to the front of our minds. Remember we didn't manage a win in the last seven games of last season...

So today's match at Burton felt important. A win would steady the ship, a loss would mean three wins, three losses. And with Wilder seemingly casting about for other employment opportunities, there had to be some doubt about his commitment to the cause.

Now, normally, a trip to Burton is fairly easy for me. A quick trip up the M1 and Bob's your uncle. Or perhaps he isn't. In this case he wasn't my uncle either since I had to take my son to university today. In Bangor, North Wales. (Luckily not the Bangor in Northern Ireland or the one in Maine - that would have made it very difficult). So we got up at stupid o'clock, put all his stuff in the jalopy and set off to North Wales. Should I worry that he seems to have many more musical instruments than textbooks? Anyway, we got there in good time, I slung his stuff into his new accommodation, got back in the car and headed back south to Burton. And got there with half an hour to spare. A quick bit of parking up in the industrial estate behind the MacDonalds (yes, of course I was shopping in Screwfix for three hours, officer) and a trot up the road to the ground. Well I say a trot up the ground, more like a show shuffle as my chest is knackered at the moment. A visit to the docs has furnished me with steroids, an inhaler and some antibiotics (£22.50 please - I can't afford to be ill really!). Having read the contraindications on the steroids, I'd decided to dispense with them this morning. Apparently the side effects can include an urge to top yourself, getting irritable, heart attacks and seeing hallucinations! Think I'll stick with the wheezy chest thanks all the same!

As a contrast to the ridiculous price of being ill, a terrace ticket at Burton was only £14. Not bad. As those who have been to the Pirelli Stadium (is it still called that?) before will know, it is a neat, small ground, and is kept in generally decent repair with the away fans being housed in one stand behind the goal with a few seats to the right being allocated to those who prefer to sit. As I waited for the match to start, I admired the Burton banners in the 'Don Arnott - King of Caravans' stand. Roughly one banner per paying customer at the start, but it filled up (a bit) before kickoff.

Our team. Hmm. Clarke in goal, then along the back Capaldi, Wright, Raynes, Boeteng and Batt. That left Chapman and Heslop in midfield (JFC being ill) and Potter, Smalley and Rigg up front. I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure what the formation was supposed to be. But then I'm in good company because it became obvious fairly quickly that the team didn't either. Was Batt supposed to be playing in midfield? Was is a back three with Capaldi and Batt providing width? With only two in midfield? The right back position was a buggers muddle. Sometimes Batt was there, sometimes he wasn't. Whatever - Smalley was on his own up front. That is a BAD IDEA. Not because he's awful - he isn't. But the things he is good at (headed flick on's, getting the ball and laying it off for example) require there to be someone up there with him. There wasn't.

The first 15-20 minutes were even (ish). We never looked like scoring, although we had quite a lot of the ball. If you've seen us this season (in both wins and losses) you'll know that involves quite a lot of passing the ball side to side and backwards while the other team wait for one of two inevitable outcomes. Outcome 1 - we hoof the ball long, usually diagonal. Outcome 2 - we pass ourselves to death and eventually cock up a simple 5 yard pass, leading to panic. And it's all done so sloowwwwlllyyy. The idea of a quick counterattack is entirely alien to the team. We get the ball, race to the half way line, then turn back and pass the ball backwards. By the time we have any support, the opposition are back in numbers. That isn't 'good passing football' in my book. It's arsing about with the ball. Next time you see us do it - watch carefully. Eventually, nine times out of ten, the ball ends up with the same player who started the move, in the same place on the pitch. Except now there are ten players between him and the goal. Earlier in the season, we were doing much the same - except we were doing it faster, people were moving off the ball creating a bit of space. But that has all evaporated. It's done at walking pace. The movement off the ball is non existent. Which is a bit of a bugger because all the teams in the league have now sussed us out. Last season it took about 35 games for them to do it, this time it's taken three. Oops.

So for all opposition managers, here's the tactics. Let us have the ball in front of you, you'll get it back. Attack down our right. Batt is often AWOL and even if he isn't, just run past him - he won't tackle. Or cut inside - he falls for it every time. There will be no midfielder covering for him. We won't shoot from outside the box, so you don't have to close down our midfielders as they come forward. Just pop a couple of defenders on the lone striker and you'll be fine.

There. I'm no football manager and I can see it. Every single Oxford fan can see it. But apparently its too difficult to do anything about it.

You know that thing about not shooting from outside the box? Exeter scored that way last weekend. And blow me down, Burton just went and did the same thing! Who'd credit it? To be fair Zola hit it very well and it probably took a touch off Jake Wright who was just not quite close enough. Anyway, the worryingly out-of-touch (or maybe just out-of-luck?) Clarke watched it sail into the net. 20 minutes or so and one down. Not that we hadn't had a warning. Burton had hit the bar a few minutes earlier after a blocked free kick. Now another worrying thing is the lack of backbone shown by most of the team. It didn't look for an instant as if we were going to go up the other end and out things right. Potter looked industrious although I'm sure his dad is a crab - he spent much of the time going sideways. At least he looked lively though, and had the bollocks to have a shot. Wide though. But the Oxford midfield had fallen to pieces completely. Simple passes were missed, the ball was lumped up to Smalley, tackles avoided, high balls not jumped for. The main culprit here was Heslop. He is slow, immobile and unaware of what is happening around him. As in a two man midfield, that is not a good thing. Now they knew that they could have a pop from distance without being closed down, Burton took complete control. And just before half time, they scored again. The lack of closing down was to blame again. The Burton strikers were allowed shot after shot, with Wright blocking bravely, but nobody trying to actually clear the ball. Eventually on the stroke of half time it was 2-0. Another good strike, but dear God what were you doing Raynes? Why weren't you in the way, or blocking the shot, or tackling the man or something. NOT watching the ball go into the net off the bar and then shrugging your shoulders and waving your arms at the hapless Clarke.

Half time. Meanwhile, what had Mr Wilder been going in the technical area? Rearranging the team, changing the shape, inspiring the troops, making a substitution to give the opposition something the think about? Nope. Mostly sitting down in the dugout. Brilliant. During probably the poorest half we'd played all season, he'd followed the example of many of his team and gone missing.

Second half. The usual panic (but too-slow-in-reacting panic) reaction. Take off a defender and a midfielder/striker (Boeteng and the totally anonymous Rigg) and put on two forwards JPP and Tommy Craddock. So now it was 4-2-4 (I think). That wasn't going to get hold of the midfield. To be fair, JPP especially did make some difference - much as he had against Exeter. Why he hadn't started I don't know. But although there was more energy (you've got to do more than just shout at half time Chris!) it was still totally ineffective. If we had scored in that first five minutes of the half things might have worked out differently - but realistically, when was the last time we came back from a two goal deficit?

It was all rendered moot anyway, when a free kick after 65 minutes (very like the one Plymouth scored) seemed to evade the wall and the flapping keeper to make it 3-0. Not content with that we then gave up marking altogether to gift them a fourth a couple of minutes later. They had enough time and space in our penalty area to have a barbecue before putting the ball in the net. Still about twenty minutes to  go. Blimey. Batt headed a ridiculous ball back into his own penalty area from out wide, trying desperately to make it five.

Of course, the Oxford players than upped it a gear or two - determined to salvage some self-respect. Did they hell. It all got even slower and more laboured. The Burton crowd at last made a bit of noise. Our lot experimented with some 'Wilder Out's, 'We're shit and we know we are's and more. They could catch on I fear.

Marsh came on for a few minutes and looked lively Luckily Burton didn't manage to score again, and that was it.

A chorus of boos and 'you don't know what you're doing' and back home.

A complete load of bollocks.
JPP and Wright were decent.
Capaldi defended OK(ish).
Batt, Raynes and Heslop were frankly awful.
Clarke was uncertain.
Chapman couldn't pass the ball.
Potter was lively but in crab mode.
Boeteng was crude but didn't make any howlers.
Was Rigg on the pitch?
Smalley was used in a totally wasteful way. I'm still nowhere near convinced he's a L2 striker - he's certainly no good on his own.
Craddock got upset about some fairly unwarranted stick he was getting from some of our 'supporters'.

The manager was terrible. The way we play is slow and predictable. There is no Plan B and not much of a Plan A most of the time ('hoof it to Smalley after arsing around with it' doesn't count). He is slow to react to what is happening on the pitch and is now regularly out thought by other managers.

At the start of the season, I was in the 'Give Wilder a bit more time' camp. But I can't say that there is any evidence that he has learnt from the mistakes of last season. We have got some decent players, but for some reason (man management? tactical naivety?) he can't get anything like the best out of them.  I think it's time he went. Either to another job, or IL needs to take action otherwise this season is going to slide down the tubes quicker than last night's curry. At the moment I am hoping there are two worse teams than us in this league or we'll all be going to Barrow again...

Hold on. Depressed? Irritated? Watching a mediocre Burton team beat us by 4 goals?

Maybe I took the steroids after all. Just the heart attack to look forward to now.

See you all next time - I won't get to Cheltenham - good luck to all who go!