Oxford Won, Beano Ton (vs Mansfield L2)

Hello all,

A few matches since I've written. From an excellent performance away at Wimbledon to 70 minutes of some of the poorest football it's been my misfortune to see recently against Gateshead. Our excellent away record contrasts markedly with our 'meh' home form.

It's got to the stage where I look forward to away matches much more than I do the home ones. So, the match against Mansfield was one to savour. Not too difficult a journey for me, straight up the M1 - quite a way up mind you! This month isn't Movemeber for me, its Gigvember. So the soundtrack to my drive up the spine of England was two of those I've already seen (the Toy Dolls and Bellowhead - both blew me away) and two I am looking forward to (the Young Knives and Half Man Half Biscuit). The difference between seeing a band live and listening to a crappy mp3 version of their music is the same to me as actually getting off your arse to watch your football club and sitting on the sofa watching highlights. Not that there would be any highlight of this particular game on the Beeb. Oh no! Apparently if the Championship teams aren't playing then it isn't worth showing any League 1 or 2 highlights. I have sent them a stiff email that will surely see this policy reversed. Not.

Anyway, with the sound of 'Fisticuffs in Frederick Street' reverberating in my ears I got into Mansfield and parked up just down the road from the One Call stadium. Field Mill as was. I hate being late for anything, and as a result am normally embarrassingly early. So I sat and ate my lunch and turned Radio 5Live on to listen to the first part of their well advertised '10 hours of live international sport'. Hmm. Since the first of the days rugby union didn't start until 2.30, what the first 150 minutes of this sporting extravaganza consisted of was pundits waffling. On and on. Not really 'live international sport' is it?!

Anyway, kick off approached, so into the stadium. Last time I was here was in the Conference days, and the stand to the left of the away stand was derelict and Billy Turley (who was out of the team for some reason) acted as ballboy down that side since Mansfield obviously thought that having real ballboys was a new-fangled invention that they wanted no part of. The derelict stand was still there, but (from memory) had sprouted an impressive collection of added advertising boards that hid most of it. Worryingly, the TV camera gantry was perched on top - lets's hope it wasn't actually as decrepit as it looked for the cameraman's sake!

I'd like to say that the teams were announced. They might have been, but Mansfield had obviously used the same tannoy company as British Rail did in the seventies. Calling the tannoy 'indistinct' would be doing it a favour. In fact you couldn't make out a word of it in the away stand. That's OK, I'll have a look at the scoreboard and get the information from there. Nope. The scoreboard is actually in the picture above. Really. It's in the far corner, set back behind that last white advertising hoarding. I was dead in the centre of the stand, half way back (row I, fact fans) - and couldn't read it at all. Not brilliant really.

The rest of the ground is fine. The stand behind the opposite goal would presumably be rocking later.

But in fact during the game, most Stags fans were in the larger stand to our right.

Anyway, word filtered around of the team. Clarke, Hunt, Mullins, Raynes, Newey, Whing, Rose, Williams, Rigg, Kitson and Smalley. 99 goal Constable among those on the bench.

The wait for kick off was enlivened (in a cruel way) by a bloke at the bottom of the stand getting hit in the nadgers by a stray shot. And he had his phone in his pocket. Ouch. I don't know why that makes everyone (else!) laugh, but it does. Hope it wasn't too bad!

And off we went, with the mighty yellows (well, purples actually since Mansfield were in yellow)  kicking towards us. We'd taken about 800 supporters (oddly enough I couldn't hear the official announcement over the PA later on!) and all were in decent voice once the game began. We started pretty much on the front foot, at a decent tempo, but it was Mansfield who had the first decent chance with Clarke having to make a decent save. That resulted in a corner and a free kick, both of which passed of relatively trouble free. After just ten minutes or so however, we took the lead. Danny Rose picked the ball up and ran with it (something Mansfield didn't like all afternoon) and put in a decent shot. The (ex-Scummer) keeper kept it out, but could only parry it across the goal. Rigg was there, and had stumbled, but sorted himself out and while the Stags defenders looked on, poked it into the empty net. Cue noisy celebrations in the stand and lots of congratulations on the pitch. Not that Riggy will want to see to many photos of them, what with having bits of blood-stained tissue poking out of his nose as a result of an unpunished elbow as early as the second minute. Actually, that was a pointer to some of Mansfield's play during the afternoon.  They certainly 'put themselves about a bit' - but this season's Oxford aren't going to let themselves be bullied. When they gave as good as they got, suddenly Mansfield didn't like it, and the challenges got more and more reckless. Perhaps if the Stags concentrated on playing football a bit more (and they showed glimpses of it during the match) they would do better in the league this season.

Whing (just returning from injury) had to go off after about 20 minutes and was replaced by Asa Hall. I don't think Whings injury was the result of any Mansfield skullduggery, but It was really not much of a surprise when a couple of minutes later, yet another heavy challenge by the home team was mistimed and Rose was taken out. The referee was in a good position and it was a straight red. I can't say that I saw exactly what happened from where I was standing (sorry, 'sitting' officer!) but I'll look at it on the Football League Show and .... oh, maybe not. Raynes and a Mansfield player were booked in the handbags after the tackle. Playing ten men hasn't been the best thing for us in season's past, let's see how it goes this time!

In fact, Mansfield tried to take the initiative, although it was largely ineffective. We had some chances in this period. The lively and impressive Williams shot over after yet another forceful run, Asa Hall tried a volley which bothered nobody (but might have worried the corner flag) and Johnny Mullins couldn't get a header on target. As the half drew to a close, we were all thinking 'one up against ten men at halftime, not bad' - when the board went up for eight minutes of stoppage time. Not unreasonable really though. There had been a stoppage for the elbow to Rigg, one for treatment to Rose after the sending off and Mansfield's John Dempster had been treated for a cut after a clash of heads. Plus a substitution.

About four minutes into added time, Mansfield had a free kick on the halfway line. As they did all afternoon, they hit a long high ball into our area. It was headed away - but up rather than out - and eventually fell to a Mansfield player who thumped it through a crowded area past a probably unsighted Clarke into the net for the equaliser. Against the run of play, but we hadn't taken our chances and had been punished. For the first time in the afternoon you could hear the Mansfield fans. Damnation.

Then CW made an inspired substitution, taking off the hard working but unthreatening Smalley and bringing on Mr 99 Goals. A minute later and we were back in the lead, the home fans had shut right up and he was Mr 100 Goals. A fine pass from Dave Kitson through the defence (not for the first or last time in the afternoon) saw Ryan Williams run into space (which was also a feature of his afternoon), who put in a fine cross on the floor to Constable who tucked it in off the far post. James Constable I salute you. A loyal, hardworking footballer who never gives less than 100%. A brilliant achievement for you - now go for the scoring record!

Half time came, thankfully. Too much excitement. The half time entertainment was two teams of young girls playing a match in the middle of the pitch. One team in yellow, one in blue. Both sets of fans were cheering on those in yellow, but I don't think either team scored. I wasn't that interested!

The second half started and Oxford began if if they had a train to catch. It was all high tempo, one touch stuff with Kitson, the revitalised Rigg, Williams and Constable causing all sorts of trouble for the Mansfield defence. Beano could have been one closer to that record, but just missed with a lovely turn and shot which was just tipped over, Williams nodded on to the top of the bar - it looked like men against boys. But we didn't score and were almost punished. A Mansfield forward was nearly though but fluffed his kick and Clarke made a good punched save only to see the ball crossed though a thankfully vacant 6 yard box.

Then Kitson played a lovely ball inside the fullback, Rigg raced through and crossed the ball and the fleet-footed Williams was there to slide the ball under the keeper and into the net for a two goal lead. An excellent team goal, played at pace with overlapping and one touch passing. More please!

We than settled for that really. There was 25 minutes to go, and we kept the ball for the most part it, putting together 20 or 30 passes at a time. 'Top of the league and we're shit at home' sang the Oxford faithful. If we were any good at home, we'd be 15 points clear by now. The whistle brought Mansfield's misery to an end (although a significant part of their support had gone home after Ryan Williams goal with 25 minutes to go - what's that all about?).

CW gave the crowd a clap and congratulated Beano (who didn't seem to want to make a big thing of it), Williams came over to the stand to give his Mum a cuddle (which brought an Ahhh from many of the normally stony hearted U's supporters) and Kitson came and gave one of his boots to a young fan. Good stuff. I just wish 'home only' supporters could get a flavour of the away games, it gives you a whole different perspective.

On the way back to the car, most Mansfield fans who I overheard were in equal parts being very complimentary about Oxford and rude about their own team and the ref. Twas ever thus! One brave middle aged man mumbled 'You'll never win foock all' at me as I walked past him. Maybe, maybe not. But I enjoyed the last 100 minutes of football more than you did and we are top of the league. For now that will do me. At least until the next home games when I will doubtless slide into abject misery. Is there a more bipolar club in the country?

The next match is the cup replay at Gateshead. I won't make it - too far, midweek, part-time supporter, whatever. Good luck and well done to all that go.... The prize and TV money (and for the Wrexham game in the next round should we get there) would be very very handy come January.

COME ON YOU YELLOWS!

Spirite Kettle (vs Chesterfield L2)

Hello everyone,

I've been a away on holiday in Dorset, so missed the away games at Burton and Cheltenham - both of which I would have gone to had I been about. Shamefully, that leaves Portsmouth as my only away trip this season so far. It does however allow me perhaps to reflect the views of those who are 'home only' supporters - the ones that pay the ticket money that keeps our club going!

I have to admit that I was not optimistic about today's match as I drove down. Which is odd, given our points total so far, being unbeaten etc. Partly it was the home performances this season, partly the fact that Wright and Constable (as well as Marsh) had managed to add themselves to the injured list. Smalley (who is still very much in the 'jurys out' category as far as I am concerned) was a doubt with a hamstring problem, but Rigg was apparently fit enough to appear on the bench.

Getting down to the stadium I tried to park in the East Stand car park, only to find that it had been infested with stewards turning people away - which was a new development. So off to the 'only an hout wait to get out because the road infrastructure is crap' car park for me then. Pah.  Still, at least that might mean a decent crowd.

Here we go - a table topping clash between the two teams with the best reccords in the division. Chesterfield were four points ahead however, having a 6-1-0 record as opposed to our 4-3-0. We'd scored loads, they'd conceded very few.

The team was much as expected - packed full of the new vibrant young players we've been promised, all playing in their favoured positions. I'm joking of course. Raynes in for Wright, Hall on the left Smalley (apparently fit) up front, with Kitson playing behind presumably. Except that would have been a 4-4-2, and we started with some sort of 4-3-3 with Hall playing more centrally. Although to be honest, it was all a bit of a mess. The out of sorts Whing is slower than a slow thing in slow motion this season, and he lurks just in front of the back four. Which sort of made a 4-1-2-2-1 formation. Oddly enough this didn't work. Chesterfield play with proper wide players. In case you can't remember what they are, they stay wide, have pace, go past their man and put crosses in. Having such a  narrow formation just invited them to use all that lovely width. They obliged. To be brutally honest, far from being a well-contested top of the table clash it started off looking like a training game for Chesterfield.

They aren't Barcelona - don't get me wrong - but as far as league 2 goes, they are very good. They play good football - and I hope that when our players are sat down to watch the DVD, they take some notice of what was happening. What was happening was: accurate passing, movement off the ball, attacking quickly, going forward with the ball rather than sideways or backwards, keeping the ball on the deck, closing men down rather than letting them run with the ball at will, passing the ball for the man to run onto rather than straight at him or behind him, playing the game with your back to your own goal rather than the one you're suposed to be attacking... and I'll give you a clue - it wasn't the men in yellow doing any of this. It was a mixture of excellent play by Chesterfield and sheer ineptitude on the part of Oxford.

The first chance fell to the visitors after ten minutes or so, and not for the last time in the afternoon Ryan Clarke pulled off a good save. Another shot/cross flashed across the face of our goal. One thing about Clarkie this season is that he is palming the ball away rather than catching it. At Cheltenham, it ended up going straight to an opposition player and creating a goal - it caused a few nervy moments today as well! One factor in Chesterfields play, was as noted above, that they played the ball on the floor. When we did it properly for the first time we looked good and created a decent chance that Smalley put wide. We'd come back into the match a bit - mostly as a result of switching back to a more usual 4-4-2 (although it was really a 4-1-3-2). Let's give CW some credit for making that particular change. The blues had already had quite a lot of success down the flanks with neither Newey nor Hunt prepared to make much of a challenge. I do understand that you don't want your fullbacks diving in, but backing off and backing off and backing off until the opposition player has a chance to shoot or cross is just barmy. At some point, you have to try and make them go around you or pass the ball elesewhere. That's what their defenders were doing to us! A case in point was their goal on about half an hour. Too much space on the Oxford right, two defenders backing off, a simple cross and a side-footed finish.

As happens so often and so annoyingly, the Oxford players suddenly woke from whatever half-speed dreamland they'd been in and actually got their arses in to gear, however briefly. Smalley had two more half decent chances that he failed to trouble their keeper with.

Half time came, and the faithful didn't boo. I think most of us were realistic enough to know that the scoreline could have been worse except for the Chesterfield final ball (which was pretty ropey all match). A hit the crossbar competition raised a bit more money for Dave Langan's fund - and Rosie has obviously been practicing!

The second half started with us playing towards the East Stand, and it whatever momentum we had a the end of the first half had completely gone - not that there was much to start with. Chesterfield moved the ball about well without actually looking very threatening. I can't really remember exactly where in the sequence of events this next incident happened, but a through ball was played into the Chesterfield penalty area, Smalley made a run towards it and the defender simply stood in front of him and then barged him over. The ball was three or four yards away. It was a penalty, or rather it wasn't but should have been. Anywhere else on the pitch it would have been a free kick and probably a booking. But no. I've restrained myself so far, but can do so no longer. The ref. Oh boy, the ref. Take a giant step forward Mr Trevor Kettle and accept your award for 'most useless official of the season so far'. You are winning it by a country mile. Someone said that Chesterfield have never lost when this particular 'official' has taken charge. I'm not surprised. I AM surprised they haven't won them all by four or five. If there was a foul to give for them, he gave it. If there was a foul to give against them he didn't.

Hall went off after a quarter of an hour of the second half to be replaced by Sean Rigg, who had recovered more quickly than expected from his injury. Suddenly we had a bit of width, and suddenly we looked a whole lot better. That's not the say Hall had a bad match, far from it actually. But he simply is not a left sided wide midfielder.

Kitson was then clattered from behind by a Chesterfield player. Even Mr Kettle couldn't ignore it. Except that the yellow card we were all expecting didn't come. What a surprise! The Chesterfield player was laughing all over his face as he ran away from the site of his assault. And then Andy Whing mistimed a sliding challenge. In my opinion it was a certain yellow and a possible red. Mr Kettle couldn't wait to get the red card out - blow me down with a feather! Two similar challenges, one not punished at all, one given a straight red. That's consistency for you - he was consistently crap.

Once more, any momentum was washed away. Raynes (who had been fine) was sacrificed for Davis and we were now 3-3-3 I think. The Chesterfield wingers took advantage and Clarke had to make another couple of saves to keep us in it at all. Smalley had a headed chance, but it was difficult to get any power onto it and it went straight into the goalies arms. Rufflles came on for a bit in place of Rose, who got a knock. A decent bit of play from Kitson gave Smalley another headed chance which he knocked onto the post.

In truth though, an equaliser would have been a travesty. The final whistle blew and the best team won the match - and that 1-0 scoreline could have been a lot more had their final passes been up to the standard of the rest of their play.

So let's take some positives.

Clarke played well (it's always revealing when your man of the match is the keeper)
Rigg spiced things up and will bolster us in matches to come.
Raynes and Mullins were alright.

Hmm and the negatives?

Compared to the league leaders we were second in every department.
Whing will miss the next three matches (I was considering putting this in the positives list. He's been very poor and at least CW will be forced to do something different).
Kitson obviously didn't fancy a trip up to the monkey hangers and managed to pick up his fifth booking so he's out of that match.
The squad is looking so threadbare it should be in an Oxfam shop.
The ref was appalling - but we would have lost anyway in all likelihood.

So - as someone who has mainly seen only home games this season - taking into account the squad, injuries, disciplinary record, playing style etc...

We will come eighth or ninth this season. Sorry.

As for me, I'm going to sit on the soccer sofa with Whing, Kitson, Wright, Constable, Meades and Marsh next Saturday afternoon listening to Radio Oxford because I don't fancy a trip up to Hartlepool either. And if anyone thinks that's because I look like a monkey and am a bit scared ... pass me a banana!

A sense of Deja Vu (vs Wycombe L2)

Hi all -

After a couple of matches with no blog report (I found the Bury match a bit depressing and didn't go to Torquay), I thought I'd fire up the trusty typewriter and pen a few words about todays home match against Wycombe. Why? Well I usually try to write about the away matches I go to, on the basis that far fewer people will have seen it first hand. Home matches don't seem so bloggable as most people have seen the game anyway. But for me, alarm bells were ringing after the Bury match and I thought today would actually be very interesting in the light of that.

As I set off down to Oxford, the British weather was up to it's normal tricks when there is a test match on - raining cats, dogs and quite possibly horses and elephants as well., but it cleared up as I got to the stadium and despite some very ominous looking clouds the weather held off over the afternoon. The other ominous clouds that had been gathering were to do with our home form and the team selection. Home form? Now before you all click the 'back' button in disgust, I know that we've only played one home league game and we won it. What's to worry about? A one hundred percent record - couldn't be better. But as we all know, the old cliche is that the league is a marathon not a sprint. So if a 50 year old bloke with a limp wearing carpet slippers set off running a marathon at a sprint and was leading after the first fifty yards, I think you could quite justfiably doubt his ability to keep that up for the next 26 miles!

We had beaten Bury, but to my mind it was very unconvincing. I kept having flashbacks to last season when the away form was actualy very good but at home, the word 'average' could have been coined for us - if the coin maker was feeling kind. So on to the second home match of the season, the not-really-a derby-well-I suppose-it-is-geographically game against Wycombe Wanderers, who had so far managed not to set the league alight.

Rigg had pulled a hamstring at Torquay so he was out, and then on Radio Oxford before the game they said that Smalley also had a hamstring twinge so he was out too. Oh and CW had already said that Kitson would be on the bench as he was not yet recovered from his rib/shoulder injury completely.

OK that shouldn't be too much of a problem, we have another left winger in Callum O'Dowda. Swap him in for Rigg - he'd looked good in preseason when I saw him. Beano up front, and find someone to play with or just off him. Maybe Hall, maybe Davies. That in itself is a bit of an indictment of the depth of the squad when two strikers are injured (not uncommon for two to be injured or suspended) and the other one in the squad (Tyrone Marsh) isn't generally considered to be an immediate replacement.

Then the radio announced the team. Normal back four and goalie, then Davies Whing Rose and Hall midfield and Beano up front with Alfie supposedly playing 'just off him'. What?!! Let's pick the bones out of that. Alfie plays best on the right wing, so we put a central midfielder there. And while we are at it we put another central midfielder on the left wing. And the Beano/Alfie partnership up front has never really worked. Alfie floats back to where he is happy, leaving Beano isolated then wanders back infield when he remembers what he is supposed to be doing. We all know how good Beano is as a lone striker... it's just not his game.

Anyway, having got to my seat in what was a fairly busy stadium, and having realised that the ref was Andy D'Urso and one of the linemen was Danny de Vito, we started off by kicking towards the fence end as we prefer. To be fair, the first quarter of an hour was fairly tight, with us perhaps having the territorial advantage. But there were warning signs. As the half wore on, the signs got more obvious. For some reason, a windy day in Grenoble Road has made us think that hoofing the ball in the air was a good idea. 'Keep it on the floor' (and variations thereof) was a common sound in the East stand. As was 'Challenge for it' - mainly aimed at an empty area of the pitch (empty of men in yellow anyway) that is known as the midfield. Danny Rose was doing sterling work, but Whing was as usual the more defensive of the central pair, sitting just in front of the defence. The other central midfielders (who were sort of supposed to be pretend wingers) weren't, if we are being honest, doing very much of anything. Running up the wing and crossing the ball was just not happening, but they were sitting a bit wider then they needed to if the were going to be effective at getting hold of the ball in the middle.

Wycombe were coming more and more into it, with corners coming frequently, and we weren't looking dangerous, with the only decent shot I can remember in this period being a turn-and-shot from Beano - he almost managed to make something out of nothing. Then the ex-Oxford Dean Morgan (talented but very tempramental) had a header directed to him inside our box and headed it past Clarke, with our defenders looking to Danny de Vito to give an offside. He didn't and we were one down with halftime coming up. It's harsh to say that the goal had been coming (Wycombe weren't exactly peppering the goal with on-target attempts) but in truth they had got hold of the midfield and were running the show. It was almost two as a Wycombe lofted shot found Clarke (whose kicking throughout the game was dismal!) backpeddalling towards his line. It would have gone in under the crossbar so he had to gather it, then found his momentum was still carrying him towards the net, so he threw the ball away and danger was averted. Half time came.

The half time entertainment was Chicken George (probably not allowed to call him that really, but think of it as 'historical') drawing the 50/50 raffle and a bloke asking his girlfriend to marry him. I must admit I think any marriage is off to a rocky start when the groom can't think of a more romantic and intimate setting for a proposal than a football stadium where half the people aren't interested and the other half are chanting 'You don't know what you're doing'! Still, each to his own. I'm starting to regret the passsing of the crossbar challenge if that's what it's come to. Not the Kick the Ball into the Buildbase Box though, that was really pants.

So the second half dawned with Davies going off for Kitson. Not that Davies had played particularly badly, but he was a round peg in a winger shaped hole. Kitson partnered Beano and Potter went to the right wing - where he should have been to start with.

This immediately paid dividends: as Alfie raced past the Chairboys left back, the hapless Wycombe player threw out an arm and caught him in the face. After Torquay and now that, his nose must look like he's done a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson. Was it a sending off? I'm not convinced that it was deliberate really - but the consistently poor Mr D'Urso thought it was, so off he went. The resulting free kick was taken by the hyperactive Duracell Bunny otherwise known as Danny Rose. He put a lovely free kick into the area (something we had avoided doing when given the chance a couple of times in the first half), Oxford players missed it, Wycombe players watched it go past and it bounced rather comically into the net. What was their goalkeeper doing?

Back on par, the formation better and the opposition down to ten men. And 35 minutes to go. Great. So what happens? Straight away, CW makes a substitution. Riiight. We spend the whole of the first half playing people out of position and he does nothing. Then he largely corrects the error for about ten minutes and it works beautifully. So he changes it again. What? He takes Hall off (peg, winger, hole again) and moves Potter to the left - and brings on Ryan Williams on the right. Sigh. Leave Potter on the right, take Hall off, put a left winger on the left. It's not hard.

Kitson had a decent headed chance that should have at least made the goalie work and didn't, but in general we were now suddenly misfiring. Williams is pretty raw, and didn't have the experience to exploit the space, Potter hardly saw the ball again for the rest of the match. The ball, which we had actually started the half by passing on the ground, suddenly went airbourne again. Kitson won his fair share - but come on, we are better than hoof and hope. While we are on the subject, please could Oxford players look where they are passing the ball before they try to do so - I promise it makes it more likely to go to a teammate. Thanks.

Then Morgan dashed into our penalty area, Hunt dangled a leg, Morgan went over it and D'Urso blew for a soft (but probably corrrect) penalty - which Morgan scored. 2-1 down against ten men. Rubbish. Still there was still the best part of half an hour to go, surely we would dominate against the ten men as the game went on by passing it on the floor to our speedy wingers? Nope. Oh, then maybe we'd get hold of the midfield and play some incisinve balls through the triring defence for Beano to run on to? Nope, not that either.

Mullins had a decent shot that the keeper saved (but it looked destined for the post or the side netting anyway from where I was sitting), and Kitson showed a touch of class with a shot destined for the goal that the Wycombe keeper saved excellently. But time was ticking on, and a neutral observer would hardly say that Wycombe were under the cosh. What they obviously were under was orders to waste time. A sniper in the stands kept shoting their players, only for their physio to keep coming on and making sure they weren't actually hors de combat and making them better with a combination of neck massage and magic water.

There wasn't much that Mr D'Urso got right this afternnon in my opinion, but one thing he did do correctly was to add seven minutes injury time to make up for all this Holby City quality acting. In the fifth of those minutes, Kitson flicked the ball on, Constable somehow knocked a Wycombe defender over without D'Urso noticing and Mullins hammered the ball into the net to earn an unlikely draw. There was even the hope than we could snatch a ridiculous win, but time beat us even if Wycombe couldn't.

The final whistle blew and the Oxford team got a rather undeserved ovation. If injury time had been a couple of minutes shorter they would have been jeered off the pitch.

And back into the car and home.

Our home form is absolutely vital to any sustained success. At the moment we are a team good at counter attacking, bad at taking the initiative. Some of the passing is dire and is made too slowly - there were numerous occasions in the second half when Wright in particular had the option to pass the ball quickly to a wide player, but dawdled so long the pass was either never made or the recieving player was closed down. Is there a case for not playing Andy Whing? He is a great 'stopper' in front of the defence but that leaves Danny Rose isolated as the central midfielder higher up the pitch - we were getting overrun there today - did we win a single second ball? Maybe Whing plays away (that's not some sort of accusation!!!) and Davies at home? We've had success this season playing with wingers - keep doing it CW. And when you've just done something clever that is working - don't fiddle with it!

I know some readers will find this report unduly harsh - how can I moan about 10 points from 12, and we are top of the league for God's sake. And of course teams always 'raise their game' when they come to our place. Yeah right. I'd say Portsmouth were the big fish in L2, not us. But I'm only saying this because I care. It's not me it's you etc.  And as for that marathon runner, maybe it would be a kindness to pull him aside and suggest that he used better tactics and used his resources wisely by wearing footgear designed for the job. I think I've just broken that metaphor.

Well let's see what next Saturday's home match to Rochdale brings, hopefully experience is a great teacher - four points from the two home matches wouldn't be a disaster. Any less and I'll be revising my 'possible auto promotion' hopes to 'probable playoffs'.

See you all next time and

= COME ON YOU YELLOWS =

PS Big congratulations to Beano and partner on the birth of their daughter!

Alfie in his Pomp (vs Portsmouth L2)

Hello everyone,

A new season has dawned. I enjoy listening to the cricket, but God it's been a long time since meaningful football. So much so that I'd taken in the Ardley, Brum and Coventry preseason friendlies. Moderately entertaining, but you just don't get that 'matchday' feeling. So it was with excitement unbefitting to my advancing years that I set off for Grenoble Road. No, I haven't gone mad. I decided (what with all the 'parking in Portsmouth' horror stories) that I would potter down to the stadium and get on a coach. Those windows won't lick themselves you know! After catching the coach by the absolute skin of my teeth - held up by a series of drivers who think a 50 mph limit really means you can only drive at 30 - I was ferried down to Fratton Park in comfort.

Fratton Park is a great stadium. A bit rubbed round the edges (but the grafitti covers that up!), it has obviously seen better days. It's not a soulless identikit stadium though, which counts for a lot, there's a reasonable amount of space for away supporters and it does have atmosphere. Walking to the ground, it was fairly obvious that some Pompey supporters are having trouble realising that they are in League 2. "F*cking saddos", a Portsmouth shirt wearing neanderthal abused us as we walked towards the away end. Sad in what way? Because we support our club? Because we are in League 2? Because we had sold out our away allocation? You're in L2 as well you know - hope you don't hurt your knuckles as they drag along the ground.

Anyway, into the stadium. Looking around it's not surprising that they were considering moving when times were better for them. Fratton Park doesn't look big enough to contain the egos of Prem footballers, although I bet that the club are now glad they haven't ended up with a huge white elephant to play in. We were in a stand behind one goal. The stand to our left was a little odd, having been dug to under the level of the pitch. That meant that the eye level of the first couple of rows of punters was at pitch level. Must give an odd view. The far stand was sponsored by Jobsite (presumably might come in useful for the players if they manage to add to Portsmouth's impressive recent collection of relegations), with the one to the right sponsored by a Mercedes-Benz car dealership, which seemed a contrast! The far stand had the usual 'images picked out in different coloured seats' malarkey. They always look a bit odd. The one to the right of the stand was the Pompey crest. The one to the left was, I think, a face. But since 'seat art' is comparable in resolution to early eighties computer games pixel graphics it was absolutely impossible to make out who it was supposed to be. I apologise for my ignorance.

I don't always bother to sit in my allotted seat, but having found the one I'd actually bought I decided to sit in it as it gave a decent view - halfway back to the left of the goal. Which was fine until another chap turned up and asked if I was sitting in his seat. He showed me his ticket. Oops yes, he had this seat. I dug my ticket out of my pocket. Hold on, I had this seat too. Both tickets were identical! Same block, same row, same seat number. How on earth had that happened? Presumably the tickets had been supplied by Portmouth preprinted - sort it out Pompey! Happily enough the other chap wasn't that bothered - I'd have moved elsewhere if he was - and he found another seat.

The atmosphere built as kickoff approached. The yellows end was packed and the rest of the ground filled rapidly. As well as being packed, the yellow end was noisy. The far stand had a card display saying  '-OURS-', we had a giant flag. There seemed to be a certain cockiness about the Portsmouth fans. Surely they were 'too big for this league'? Surely all the other clubs in the FL basment division were just going to roll over, so they could start their march back up the leagues to their 'rightful place'? There are loads of clubs and their supporters who fall victim to this blinkered arrogance. Some not so far from home maybe - and we all know what happens when you start thinking like that! Perhaps someone would like to give them Luton Town Supporters Club's phone number!

The teams rans out to an amazing din from all four sides of the ground. I have to say that this season's kit is a hit with me. I like the more orange, less acid yellow and the darker shorts look very smart. Never mind the nylon, who was inside it? Well I think we all picked most of the team beforehand. Clarke, Newey, Wright, Mullins and Hunt at the back, with Whing in front of them as the midfield stopper. Potter and Rigg as the wide men with Rose in the more attacking central midfield role. Kitson and Smalley up front. I would have preferred Constable instead of Smalley, (don't worry there is a helping of humble pie coming up later!) but those who had seen CWs preseason teams wouldn't have been surprised.

If I'm honest, it started much as I thought it would. Portsmouth playing at a million miles an hour, us second best much of the time. Were some of our players a bit overawed by the atmosphere? Was it a cunning plan to sit tight for the first half? We showed little real ambition going forwards and were a yard slower in midfield. As a result, Portsmouth had a lot of the ball. But the longer it went on, the more it became apparent that they were actually doing precious little with it. Lots of passing backwards and forwards, with little penetration. They had a header over and Mullins flashed one past their post, but in truth there was a lot of huff and puff from Pompey and little end result.

That all changed after about 25 minutes when a lovely cross from a Portsmouth wide player was deftly headed into our goal past a helpless Clarke. The complacency levels in the home stands rose. This was what was supposed to happen, right? The Yellow Army responded maginficently, roaring the players on despite the setback. Suddenly the players raised their game. Whing went forward and shot toward the right side of their goal. It looked for all the world as if an equaliser was there, but the keeper suddenly appeared from behind a knot of players and made the save. Damn. But our central and wide midfield was now having to push further up the pitch, and was looking all the better for  it.

Alfie Potter suddenly did what I'd like to see him do more of. He went past his man, and put in a lovely cross. Smalley got himself into a great position and slotted it home. Three quarters of the stadium deflated like a punctured pre-kickoff beachball. The yellow quarter went bananas. Back to parity and about ten minutes left to half time.

Personally I was fairly happy with that. We had been second best for the first 25 minutes, so going in level at the break would be OK. But Mr Potter had other ideas. This time Sean Rigg was the provider, cutting the ball across the penalty area. Alfie made good ground and... well we've all seen this kind of chance skied over the bar. But not this time. He kept it down beautifully and we were in the lead. If we were jubilant after the equaliser, we were now delirious. 2-1 up! Excellent. Looking at the blue shirted Portsmouth players, shoulders were down. In the stands, blue shirted supporters had their heads in their hands. The realisation was dawning that it wasn't going to be quite as easy as they had assumed. The songs in the away end were getting louder and even prouder.

Halftime came with us well on top. The Pompey players looked as if they had just been told their dog had died. It was a pity there wasn't another five minutes - we would have scored again. I can't remember if there was much half time entertainment. Jim Smith came onto the pitch and was applauded by both sets of fans, the 50/50 raffle was a measly three hundred quid or so for an 18,000 crowd. Times are hard in Portsmouth, obviously. I hadn't bought a ticket, putting my change into a Dave Langan bucket instead.

The second half started and any idea that we might have lost the momentum we had built up in the first half were soon put to bed. There was only one team going to score next. And that was made even more likely when the Portsmouth skipper, obviously not happy that his big day out was going wrong, decided that an elbow to Danny Rose's head was a sensible thing to do. About three yards from the ref. Very bright. Almost as bright as the red card he was deservedly shown. Rose stayed down for some time, but eventually recovered and came back onto the pitch. So now we were one up, in the ascendancy and against ten men.

Very shortly we were two up. Alfie (that man again) went down the right wing, cut back inside and as the Portsmouth defenders failed to do anything much (tackling, closing down, anything) took aim and in front of the yellow faithful put the ball past the keeper inside the near post. More mayhem in the yellow end. Amazingly enough, with over 20 minutes to go Portsmouth supporters were now starting to make for the exits. What? Stay and support your team! When they are losing they need your support MORE than when they are winning.

Just five minutes later and that trickle of support out of the ground turned into a flood. Deane Smalley picked up a cross from the man Potter again, as as the Portsmouth defence a) fell over and b) arrived far too late, he scored his second of the afternoon. I have to admit that I was now actually laughing. 'Is there a fire drill?' we sang as we waved the opposition support out of the ground. What had started out looking as if it might be a difficult afternoon was now very comfortable indeed. There was still 20 minutes to go, enough time for Mullins to smack a header against the outside of the post, a Portsmouth player to make a nasty challenge on Kitson (who also got himself booked somehow), us to make three substitutions and Craddock to come on for his new club and cock up several (half) chances. By the time the ref put Portsmouth out of their misery the home stands were at least a quarter empty, the away stand was singing and cheering fit to bust.

A bit of a queue to get out of the ground, back to Oxford on the coach and then a drive back home.

Reading that back, there is quite a lot I haven't mentioned. Kitson made a huge difference. Laying the ball off, tackling, chasing down defenders, bringing other players into the game. More of a provider than scorer perhaps (although I think that will change) - he was excellent.  Our defence was very solid, with Portsmouth actually having very few chances.

We certainly looked better when being more aggressive and forward thinking rather than trying to contain.

Man of the match was Potter. By a mile. If he can keep that up, or anything near it, he will be a shining star in our season.

And finally, I've put some humble pie in the oven to warm up. I thought it was a mistake to offer Deane Smalley another year. But actions speak louder than words and his form and application so far have been excellent. Keep it up Deane - if it means more success for you and Oxford I am very happy indeed to be wrong. Is it OK if I have custard on it?

Next match - Charlton in the League Cup. I can't get to South London on a weekday evening in time for that one. Good luck to those who go (it will be a much changed team according to CW), and I'll see you next Saturday at our first home game of the season.

Come On You Yellows.

It was a Dark and Stormy Night (vs Burton L2)

Hello everyone,

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was down in the dumps after our terrible performance at Burton. Since then we've had a decent run in the league, a bit of a wimp-out in a couple of cups and Saturday's very poor showing at Fleetwood.

Not that I ventured up to the land of the Cod Army. Playing the Captain Pugwash music after a goal? Really? Not that there's anything wrong with Captain Pugwash. In fact the first dog my family had (when I was five) was a Boxer called - you've guessed it - Captain Pugwash. Since he was nominally my birthday present I was the one who got to name him. Ah - happy times.

Still, back to the present. Burton at home on a Tuesday night. As I drove to the stadium, it felt as if the wheels were loose on the jalopy, but it was just the blustery and strong wind moving the car about. That didn't bode well - those of us who go regularly to Grenoble Road know just how much effect the wind has on matches played there. In fact, a slight breeze outside the stadium seems to multiply into a gale inside - so what it would be like tonight, God only knew. Add in a seasoning of cold drizzle and it wasn't going to be pleasant or easy for the players.

First thing was to go and get a ticket for next Saturday's Ultimate Away Support match at Sarfend. It's always a decent ground to go to, with a low roof over the away end. Although we usually seem to play well and lose as far as my admittedly unreliable memory is concerned...

Ticket bought, prawn sandwich eaten (ohh - posh! But bought from a garage on the way down. ohh - pleb!!), in I went.

I've mentioned the overhead conditions, what about those underfoot? My heart sank as I looked at the pitch. A patchwork of mud, grass and sand with the worst bit being (as always) the area around the halfway line on the South side of the pitch. I can't imagine a much worse combination than a bobbly soggy pitch and a strong swirling wind. It seemed as if we might not be seeing much of the 'beautiful game' tonight!

Team news was back to 4-4-2, with the big surprise (although perhaps not to those who had seen 'Flapper' Brown in the last couple of matches) being that Max Crocombe was making his debut in goal. Otherwise, O'Brien replaced Capaldi at left back, Chapman started in place of Heslop and Craddock and Constable started up top. Well, as anyone who reads this blog regularly will know, I'm not a big fan of our central midfield personnel/partnerships in general. I haven't seen Montrose play yet as he has joined the sick and injured (including Whing) after one match, and Cox has now gone back so we are now left with the choice of Heslop, Leven and Chapman for the two available slots. I simply don't think there is a good combination there. Chapman and Leven is probably the best of a bad bunch. I wish the midfield had been sorted out properly in the summer!

As kick off approached, the crowd was sparse. Very sparse. I've sneaked a look at the match report and apparently the Brewers brought 65 supporters. I don't know where they were - I counted 32 in the away area of the stand. Not that Oxford had anything to crow about. The whole crowd didn't top 5,000. Ouch. Maybe because the match was just before the first pay packet after the Christmas/New Year period.

It has to be said that the missing hundreds probably didn't miss much for long periods of the match. We started (as seemingly always) slowly. And deep. Perhaps because we had a rookie keeper (who got a great reception from those who had bothered to turn up), perhaps because both teams were having trouble making any meaningful headway. The pitch discouraged passing on the floor, the wind played merry hell with anything in the air.

Neither team looked like scoring really. Batt put one past the Burton post, Burton put one over the bar from a free kick. Duberry started feeling his right hamstring on about 20 minutes and went straight off to be replaced by Raynes. The best move of the half came after about half an hour. All match we had been trying to move the ball sideways and backwards before going forwards again, looking for an opening. In truth it was all too slow, with little threat and with the moved breaking down due to the inevitable error during the over-passing. However, this time it very nearly worked. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, Chapman through ball, Batt shot from 10 yards or so. We all tensed, ready to leap to our feet, but the Burton keeper got a great hand to the ball and palmed it wide. Good save! The move and the save got a round of applause from the east stand. From the resulting corner, Raynes headed a good chance over the bar. Craddock combined well with Rigg, but his shot was deflected wide.

So the attack at least was improving. The defence? Well, not really. They hadn't been asked to do much, but they had a bad case of ditheritis. Dithering on the ball, dithering when they should be clearing it. Batt decided that backheeling the ball into his own penalty area straight to a Burton player was an excellent move. It wasn't. Don't ever do that again. Not that Burton were exerting much pressure.

Half time. From both teams being very ineffective to start with, we had improved a bit. Burton hadn't really - but there wasn't much between the teams.

The second half started with an unwelcome surprise. Leven had been replaced by Capaldi. So our dynamic midfield duo was Capaldi and Chapman. Oops. It shows just how thin the squad is (and just how much faith CW has in Heslop - a specialist central midfield player). However, five minutes into the second half the Burton keeper let a ball go over his goal line thinking it was a goal kick. It wasn't, it had got a hefty deflection from a defender. Capaldi took the resulting corner on the Burton left, and the (slightly chunky looking) Beano headed it home somehow when surrounded by three Burton defenders. Excellent stuff. Burton hadn't looked like scoring, and we had been the better team. Let's go and get another!

But as often happens with Oxford, kicking a team when they are down doesn't seem to be our style. We gradually dropped back, not helped by the fact that the Chapman/Capaldi midfield had gone completely AWOL, and that Potter (usually a reliable 'out' when are under pressure) was having a shocker. Strangely enough, although they hadn't been very threatening it wasn't a huge surprise when Burton equalised after about 25 minutes of the half. A long ball from the right to the far post found three Burton players being marked by Batt. On his own. It was someone's job to be there as well - I'd hazard a guess at Raynes. Anyway the result was a shot that Crocombe had no chance with. The ground went deadly quiet. Normally when the opposition scores their supporters make a din, but there weren't really enough Burton fans to make any noise.

That did at least spur the men in yellow on to some sort of forward effort. Although in truth it was still going sideways and backwards an awful lot. Craddock put one over the bar and was replace by the hard-working Smalley, who didn't look like scoring. Not that anyone else did. Since we had let in the equaliser we hadn't managed to have a shot on target. In fact we had two shots on target all match, which you can add to the one we managed at Fleetwood. Simply not good enough.

The ref (who had an inconsistent game in difficult conditions - I am being kind) blew to end the match to general apathy.

I was amazed to get back in the car and find both RadOx presenters saying they thought we had played well. We did OK for about half the first half in my opinion. The rest was very poor. Amazingly enough the result lifted Burton into the automatic promotion spots. But I guess in their two latest matches Burton had won their home match and drawn their away match which is what you have to do.

Another thing I heard on the radio rather worried me. CW talking about having to 'find a way to win' at home on that pudding of a pitch. For long periods of the match we were hoofing the ball forward in the air. If that's how we are going to try to do it, then we are going nowhere fast. Actually, if I am honest I think we aren't going anywhere anyway. Too inconsistent, not fit enough, not threatening enough, too small a squad, too many injuries too often.

So the only thing to do is to enjoy the ride. Difficult to do sometimes in what has been a largely uninspiring season, but the Ultimate Away Support day at Southend should be good fun.

Be there or be square!

On the Gallop (Cheltenham L2)

First of all, Happy Hew Year everyone!

I hadn't travelled to Exeter or Wimbledon.  Exeter is a bloody long way (I am an extra hour and a half the wrong side of Oxford) and I left it too late to get a Wimbledon ticket. I'm not the most organised of blokes.

Mrs Zero however is very organised indeed. In fact she cheerfully announced to me that she had organised a surprise outing on New Year's Day. Bugger. I put on a cheerful face and asked what, where and when? The answers were: horse pantomime, outside Milton Keynes, 6.30. Never mind the what, the where and when made it possible for me to get to the New Year's match against Cheltenham and get back to what sounded a very bizzare entertainment indeed.

Which was a good job. As I may have mentioned before, I am a very poor listener as far as Yellows matches on the radio (or YellowPlayer) are concerned. I hate not being able to see what is going on, and with YP often lagging significantly, I keep refreshing the forum as news of goals often comes through there first. Add to that the spooky fact that as soon as I wander off to go to the loo or get a drink, something exciting happens and the result is that listening to matches does me no good at all. I end up stressed, wanting to wee and dehydrated. So it was a relief (in many ways) to be able to attend a game.

I got down to the stadium good and early. Firstly I wanted to get near the exit of the East Stand car park to make a quick getaway after the match (timings were going to be tight) and I also needed to buy a ticket for the Cup match on Saturday. As always, I tuned the car radio to RadOx at 2 to get the team news. Raynes out ill, so the nominally fit (but surely not match fit) Duberry was in the starting line up. Beano was in the side despite his sending off at Wimbledon, pending the appeal. I wasn't there myself of course, but those whose judgement I trust who saw the incident thought it was very harsh indeed. Personally I doubt that the FA will overturn it without a better view than I have seen so far - time will tell I guess. But despite that, it was good to see a reasonably settled side - Cox was playing, so we would be more resilient defensively.

Once I got inside, there were two things I immediately noticed. Firstly, there weren't as many in the stands as might have been hoped for. Secondly, someone had stolen our pitch and replaced it with a muddy field. It looked awful. And that was from half way up in the stands. What on earth it looked (and played) like at closer quarters was something I could only imagine. Whilst you can't blame our favourite ex-owner from maximising his investment in the stadium, maybe he could spend a tiny proportion of the large amount of his new revenue on getting the pitch in shape - given that we've got thirty blokes with cauliflower ears and an inflated view of their own sportsmanship ('sure I tried to gouge his eyes out, but we had a pint together afterwards so that's OK') running up and falling down on it. In front of the South stand was the worst affected area, with the ball sticking in it during the game, and huge divots redirecting the ball at random.

So the match kicked off, with us both kicking off and kicking towards the fence end to start with. Excellent. To be fair, both teams were trying to pass the ball about. And to be equally fair, both were losing possession all the time. Some of it was down to the pitch, some of it not. Alfie had a shot after ten minutes or so, Cheltenham didn't look very threatening. What turned out to be the game's deciding incident came after about a quarter of an hour.

The always threatening Rigg managed to struggle through the bog at the side of the pitch and played a through ball to Tom Craddock, who went directly at the goal, only to go flying after a challenge from a Robin's defender. From the other end of the pitch it's always difficult to tell of course, but it looked straightforward enough and the ref duly awarded a penalty. Foul + goal scoring opportunity = red card. Or not. A yellow maybe? Nope. Very odd. Anyway, Peter Leven (now looking like he's much more in shape than a couple of weeks ago) put the penalty close to the keeper, just to his right. Not a brilliant penalty, but good enough to beat the goalie and we were one up. Good stuff.

The rest of the first half was fairly forgettable in truth. Rigg put a header across the face of the goal, Duberry hit one into the car park, the lively Cheltenham winger McGlashan poked in a shot that Clarke saved easily enough (and it looked like it may have been going wide anyway). Cheltenham increasingly held the ball, and still couldn't do anything with it. The Oxford back four had an excellent game, and with Cox controlling the space in front of them, Cheltenham showed little imagination in trying to get through. Wright deserves a special mention here - it was an excellent display from the captain, and even his occasional weak point (his distribution) was very much improved.  Half time came, and in the stands we reflected on the match so far. Neither side had impressed very much really. The Oxford defence looked secure, the Cheltenham midfield solid but uninspired. Both attacks looked a little toothless, which was a bit odd on the Oxford side, having scored eight goals in the previous three games. Being in the lead, puts a gloss on a performance of course, so the feeling was generally positive. In the second half, we would be playing our preferred way and Cheltenham would have to come out and attack.

After the half time entertainment (a young lad won a Buildbase voucher for chipping the ball into the box - bet he can't wait to get down there to spend it!!), the teams re-emerged and Cheltenham tried to exert some pressure. Which was made easier as they could now see what they were doing, the floodlights having been turned on only at half time, Unfortunately for the visitors, their effort was all sound and fury signifying nothing. Clarke had very few saves to make, none of which really troubled him, most of them straight at him.

The newly signed Josh Parker replaced the just-booked Tom Craddock with half an hour to go. I thought he held the ball up reasonably well when it was knocked up to him, but there were at least a couple of occasions when he should have passed the ball but held on to it too long. Still, he's new to the team, and his pace could be useful. If Beano is suspended, maybe we could play Potter and Craddock up front and put Parker on the right? Parker did fashion one chance for himself with some good movement, but blazed the ball over the bar shortly after Alfie put on past the Cheltenham right hand post. Pity.

Not much was happening down the other end meanwhile. There were few if any on-target attempts on goal. Normally we all sit biting our nails if we are one ahead as the final whistle looms, but the back four (or 5) looked totally secure.

The ref (who wasn't the worst we've ever had, but had made some odd decisions both ways during the match) blew the whistle to end the match. In the interests of journalistic truth and to make sure I don't get called by the Levenson Enquiry, I have to disclose that I didn't actually see that. I'd left as the 90 minutes was up, in order to get out of the car park in a timely fashion. Couldn't miss the horse pantomime could I?

So, a fairly uninspiring game of football really from both sides. The pitch may have had something to do with it I suppose. Sometimes a cliche becomes a cliche because it is true, and 'winning ugly' fitted this match if anything ever did. In truth a draw might have been a fair result - we certainly didn't deserve to be beaten by a disappointing Cheltenham, who surely must have been significantly better for large stretches of the season than they showed in this match.

As for the men in yellow, have they turned the corner? Well they've put any realistic chance of relegation out of people's minds now, which is a good start - another 21 games to get 15 points to reach the magical 50 point safety point. Are the playoffs in reach? Not yet they aren't. We have to be at least five points better than six of the teams above us over the rest of the season. Certainly not impossible, certainly not easy. And the manager? Well although I am still not convinced by the performances I have seen recently, it is hard to argue with four wins on the bounce with a ten match unbeaten run. It's obvious that CW now has until (at least?) the end of the season in charge and he has gone some way to redeem the dismal form of earlier in the season. For everyone's sake - his, the players, the owner's and ours - long may it continue.

Next we have the two cup matches. A little break from the tension of the league, two difficult matches - which will be more difficult if we lose Constable for them as I suspect we will.

And, just to puncture the tension that's been building up, I did get to the horse pantomime in time. A Christmas show put on by the stunt horse riders who appear in a shedload of TV and film productions. I could take or leave the panto bits (preferably leave), but the horses were beautiful and well-trained and the riders athletic, skilled and brave. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

Hi Ho Silver - see you all next time.

Do The Stanley - Again (FA Cup R2)

Hello everyone,

It's a while since I last posted. During that time for me, and I suspect many others, a certain amount of apathy has set set in. We are drifting along in lower mid-table, looking neither so awful we are likely to go down (famous last words!) nor like turning into anything like a team about to race up the table towards the play off spots. The players and the style of play are both lethargic and completely lacking in invention, speed and (on occasion) basic ball skills. We are unbeaten in quite a few, but have only won one league game in that time.

However we are still in two cups. The Johnson's Paint thingy and the FA Cup. Now I can't pretend to be that interested in the first one (which makes my actions at the box office a little later even more inexplicable...) - somehow it seems that a day out at Wembley would be good, anything else a bit nothing really. The romance of the FA Cup however, ah that's completely different. Giant killing, boggy pitches, small grounds packed to the rafters, cups made out of tin foil and cardboard. That's the dream, the reality being Oxford vs Accrington on a chilly Tuesday night in December. I thought twice about going, but whatever the standard of football, whatever the competition, watching Oxford is better than not watching Oxford.

So, a quick dash after work, and there I was in a suspiciously empty East Stand car park. It wasn't even that early. The East Stand car park is a good barometer of attendances. If there are still spaces an hour before kick off then it's not going to be a huge crowd. On this occasion there were still spaces fifteen minutes before the off. Hmm. I made my way to the very unbusy ticket office, and for some reason known only to my primitive hind brain, bought not only a ticket for the Accrington game but one for the JPT Southend tie as well. Blimey. Oh well.

Into the stadium to find out the team news. Dooooobs on the bench, Davis in for Capaldi. Craddock playing (thus scuppering all the 'Craddock to be sold in January, so we won't cup-tie him' theories). Just one change from Saturday. Yet again, Cox left on the bench. That mystifies me. Firstly the defense look better with Cox in front of them - he stops quite a lot of the shooting from outside the box that has plagued us this season. Secondly, he gets the ball and passes it - simply and accurately (or at least more accurately than some of his team mates). It's not spectacular, but it frees other players (notably Leven) to do what they are best at. Chapman/Leven in midfield is not a happy mix as far as I am concerned.

I was amused the find that the normal people I sit with (well relatively normal anyway :) ) were all there. Fellow addicts waiting for their football fix! Hardly anyone else was though - the crowd was 'sparse'. Never mind, we were sure of a great contest with a home tie against the Blades of Sheffield United as a reward as well as the £27,000 (is that right?) for winning the current tie. That's quite a few bottles of Budweiser (bit of free advertising for the sponsors - if they'd like to send me a few bottles to see me over Christmas that would be appreciated. Thanks).

We started out as we prefer, kicking towards the fence end. Since we kicked off as well, I presume that Accrington won the toss and let us do that. Bit odd.

Here are the highlights of the first half.

........

There we go. Stirring stuff. Actually I have forgotten to mention a couple of incidents. Firstly Chapman hurt his ankle, went off and was replaced by Cox. The other incident of note was the Accrington free kick routine. They had a free kick just outside our box. The ref blew his whistle, and four Accrington players pretended they were the Red Arrows, making dummy runs over the ball going off in all directions. The ball was then dinked to the right hand side of the penalty area, where a red attacker with coloured smoke billowing from his backside headed the ball out for a goal kick. Very funny! If it had worked it would have been brilliant - as it was, it looked ridiculous.

As for the rest of the 'action', well calling it 'poor' is a bit like calling the sea 'wet'. It doesn't go any way to describing the full extent of the awfulness on show. Two teams hoofing the ball in the air, usually to nobody, neither team able to pass the ball five yards. 22 individuals on the pitch, and if it hadn't been for the team strips you'd have been hard pressed to tell who was supposed to be on whose side. People around me (and myself if I am honest) have gone through the 'groaning' stage and have now gone straight into 'laughing' mode. Some of it was like a pantomine: players jumping for a header and missing the ball by a whole two yards, the ball being played back and forth between two teams who seemed to think it was about to explode, 'he's behind you' - the whole seasonal shebang. The 45 minutes crawled past, and the realisation that there was not only another half to go, but a possible half hour of extra time was more than bore thinking about.

The (very poor and inconsistent) ref brought the half to an end. Some people booed, a few so loud that they almost woke me up. I suppose I should mention the Accrington away support. According to RadOx, they'd sold four tickets and two of them were to someone in Wycombe. The players had given away 20 tickets as comps. In the end, there were about 40 of them in the away end. Rather than deride them for it, I'd prefer to say well done to those who made the effort. Three hours or so down and another three back. Mind you it did make us laugh when ten of them were singing about being an 'army'. More like a platoon, my neighbour rightly remarked. I didn't go to the tie at their place though, so let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Surely the second half couldn't be as bad? Well it started in exactly the same manner. As always, I haven't read other match reports before I write this rubbish, so the prevailing view may be that we came out 'fired up' for the second half. I don't think we did really. But we did gradually improve, not much but enough to look like being more likely to score than the opposition. That was mostly due to Rigg, who was at least prepared to try to go past a man rather than turn and pass it back. Shots were still few and far between though. Alfie was also coming more into the game as it went on. Don't let that fool you into thinking that we suddenly had width and were pinging in crosses. We weren't - and there was quite a lot of pottering sideways with the ball.

We did have a couple of shots however and on 65 minutes or so one was put out for a corner. Leven took it and Beano got up and somehow managed to avoid the crowd in the goalmouth to find the back of the net. Mild jubilation in the stand. I have my suspicions that it was as much to do with the reduction of the likelihood of extra time as anything else! Surely Accrington would now go for it? They had to score. Well, I thought that - their players had other ideas. We had managed to improve marginally, they hadn't. There was a lack of urgency from the men in red.

Another formation free kick from Stanley was poked over the bar (by quite a way) and then Clarke almost chucked the ball in his own net. In fact the Accy players thought it had gone in. From the East Stand I couldn't tell of course, but it was the nearest the opposition came to scoring all night. They were so inept that I couldn't see us being pegged back from a one goal lead (and with the leakiness of our defence that is a brave thought!), so when Peter Leven struck a lovely shot into the Stanley net with 10 minutes to go, that was it. Duberry came on for a few minutes at the end - his first act was to give a foul away. But to give credit where it's due, the central defence had looked fairly solid (admittedly against a powder-puff attack) anyway. Their distribution was awful, but defending had been pretty good. Nice to see the big man back though.

The ref brought proceedings to an end and it didn't take long to get out of the car park!

If I had to pick a man of the match it would probably be Rigg.

The win put a gloss on what was actually a terrible performance - certainly the first half was as bad a game of professional football as I have seen for a while. Mickey Lewis popped up on the radio to say that the pitch was a factor. Maybe so, but that doesn't stop players shooting and making an extra unneeded pass instead, does it? In fact I'd have thought exactly the opposite! We will have to be a whole lot better on Saturday against Fleetwood. What worries me is that our recent unbeaten-run-that-hasn't-actually-earned-many-league-points has been mostly against teams in the bottom half of the table. After Christmas we have more games against the better teams - and we all know what often happens to our league form when all the mince pies have been eaten and a few dodgy loanees have been brought into the team!

Anyway, enough doom and gloom - 'tis the season to be jolly after all! I hope you all have a great festive season, and I'll probably see many of the readers of this blog at a match or two. And me - I've got the JPT match against Southend to look forward to!

Bollocks at Burton (L2)

Hello all -

My first post of the new season for one reason or another. As the season started there was some debate over the future of the manager. Three league victories seemed to silence the doubters, then a couple of bad defeats have brought our concerns back to the front of our minds. Remember we didn't manage a win in the last seven games of last season...

So today's match at Burton felt important. A win would steady the ship, a loss would mean three wins, three losses. And with Wilder seemingly casting about for other employment opportunities, there had to be some doubt about his commitment to the cause.

Now, normally, a trip to Burton is fairly easy for me. A quick trip up the M1 and Bob's your uncle. Or perhaps he isn't. In this case he wasn't my uncle either since I had to take my son to university today. In Bangor, North Wales. (Luckily not the Bangor in Northern Ireland or the one in Maine - that would have made it very difficult). So we got up at stupid o'clock, put all his stuff in the jalopy and set off to North Wales. Should I worry that he seems to have many more musical instruments than textbooks? Anyway, we got there in good time, I slung his stuff into his new accommodation, got back in the car and headed back south to Burton. And got there with half an hour to spare. A quick bit of parking up in the industrial estate behind the MacDonalds (yes, of course I was shopping in Screwfix for three hours, officer) and a trot up the road to the ground. Well I say a trot up the ground, more like a show shuffle as my chest is knackered at the moment. A visit to the docs has furnished me with steroids, an inhaler and some antibiotics (£22.50 please - I can't afford to be ill really!). Having read the contraindications on the steroids, I'd decided to dispense with them this morning. Apparently the side effects can include an urge to top yourself, getting irritable, heart attacks and seeing hallucinations! Think I'll stick with the wheezy chest thanks all the same!

As a contrast to the ridiculous price of being ill, a terrace ticket at Burton was only £14. Not bad. As those who have been to the Pirelli Stadium (is it still called that?) before will know, it is a neat, small ground, and is kept in generally decent repair with the away fans being housed in one stand behind the goal with a few seats to the right being allocated to those who prefer to sit. As I waited for the match to start, I admired the Burton banners in the 'Don Arnott - King of Caravans' stand. Roughly one banner per paying customer at the start, but it filled up (a bit) before kickoff.

Our team. Hmm. Clarke in goal, then along the back Capaldi, Wright, Raynes, Boeteng and Batt. That left Chapman and Heslop in midfield (JFC being ill) and Potter, Smalley and Rigg up front. I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure what the formation was supposed to be. But then I'm in good company because it became obvious fairly quickly that the team didn't either. Was Batt supposed to be playing in midfield? Was is a back three with Capaldi and Batt providing width? With only two in midfield? The right back position was a buggers muddle. Sometimes Batt was there, sometimes he wasn't. Whatever - Smalley was on his own up front. That is a BAD IDEA. Not because he's awful - he isn't. But the things he is good at (headed flick on's, getting the ball and laying it off for example) require there to be someone up there with him. There wasn't.

The first 15-20 minutes were even (ish). We never looked like scoring, although we had quite a lot of the ball. If you've seen us this season (in both wins and losses) you'll know that involves quite a lot of passing the ball side to side and backwards while the other team wait for one of two inevitable outcomes. Outcome 1 - we hoof the ball long, usually diagonal. Outcome 2 - we pass ourselves to death and eventually cock up a simple 5 yard pass, leading to panic. And it's all done so sloowwwwlllyyy. The idea of a quick counterattack is entirely alien to the team. We get the ball, race to the half way line, then turn back and pass the ball backwards. By the time we have any support, the opposition are back in numbers. That isn't 'good passing football' in my book. It's arsing about with the ball. Next time you see us do it - watch carefully. Eventually, nine times out of ten, the ball ends up with the same player who started the move, in the same place on the pitch. Except now there are ten players between him and the goal. Earlier in the season, we were doing much the same - except we were doing it faster, people were moving off the ball creating a bit of space. But that has all evaporated. It's done at walking pace. The movement off the ball is non existent. Which is a bit of a bugger because all the teams in the league have now sussed us out. Last season it took about 35 games for them to do it, this time it's taken three. Oops.

So for all opposition managers, here's the tactics. Let us have the ball in front of you, you'll get it back. Attack down our right. Batt is often AWOL and even if he isn't, just run past him - he won't tackle. Or cut inside - he falls for it every time. There will be no midfielder covering for him. We won't shoot from outside the box, so you don't have to close down our midfielders as they come forward. Just pop a couple of defenders on the lone striker and you'll be fine.

There. I'm no football manager and I can see it. Every single Oxford fan can see it. But apparently its too difficult to do anything about it.

You know that thing about not shooting from outside the box? Exeter scored that way last weekend. And blow me down, Burton just went and did the same thing! Who'd credit it? To be fair Zola hit it very well and it probably took a touch off Jake Wright who was just not quite close enough. Anyway, the worryingly out-of-touch (or maybe just out-of-luck?) Clarke watched it sail into the net. 20 minutes or so and one down. Not that we hadn't had a warning. Burton had hit the bar a few minutes earlier after a blocked free kick. Now another worrying thing is the lack of backbone shown by most of the team. It didn't look for an instant as if we were going to go up the other end and out things right. Potter looked industrious although I'm sure his dad is a crab - he spent much of the time going sideways. At least he looked lively though, and had the bollocks to have a shot. Wide though. But the Oxford midfield had fallen to pieces completely. Simple passes were missed, the ball was lumped up to Smalley, tackles avoided, high balls not jumped for. The main culprit here was Heslop. He is slow, immobile and unaware of what is happening around him. As in a two man midfield, that is not a good thing. Now they knew that they could have a pop from distance without being closed down, Burton took complete control. And just before half time, they scored again. The lack of closing down was to blame again. The Burton strikers were allowed shot after shot, with Wright blocking bravely, but nobody trying to actually clear the ball. Eventually on the stroke of half time it was 2-0. Another good strike, but dear God what were you doing Raynes? Why weren't you in the way, or blocking the shot, or tackling the man or something. NOT watching the ball go into the net off the bar and then shrugging your shoulders and waving your arms at the hapless Clarke.

Half time. Meanwhile, what had Mr Wilder been going in the technical area? Rearranging the team, changing the shape, inspiring the troops, making a substitution to give the opposition something the think about? Nope. Mostly sitting down in the dugout. Brilliant. During probably the poorest half we'd played all season, he'd followed the example of many of his team and gone missing.

Second half. The usual panic (but too-slow-in-reacting panic) reaction. Take off a defender and a midfielder/striker (Boeteng and the totally anonymous Rigg) and put on two forwards JPP and Tommy Craddock. So now it was 4-2-4 (I think). That wasn't going to get hold of the midfield. To be fair, JPP especially did make some difference - much as he had against Exeter. Why he hadn't started I don't know. But although there was more energy (you've got to do more than just shout at half time Chris!) it was still totally ineffective. If we had scored in that first five minutes of the half things might have worked out differently - but realistically, when was the last time we came back from a two goal deficit?

It was all rendered moot anyway, when a free kick after 65 minutes (very like the one Plymouth scored) seemed to evade the wall and the flapping keeper to make it 3-0. Not content with that we then gave up marking altogether to gift them a fourth a couple of minutes later. They had enough time and space in our penalty area to have a barbecue before putting the ball in the net. Still about twenty minutes to  go. Blimey. Batt headed a ridiculous ball back into his own penalty area from out wide, trying desperately to make it five.

Of course, the Oxford players than upped it a gear or two - determined to salvage some self-respect. Did they hell. It all got even slower and more laboured. The Burton crowd at last made a bit of noise. Our lot experimented with some 'Wilder Out's, 'We're shit and we know we are's and more. They could catch on I fear.

Marsh came on for a few minutes and looked lively Luckily Burton didn't manage to score again, and that was it.

A chorus of boos and 'you don't know what you're doing' and back home.

A complete load of bollocks.
JPP and Wright were decent.
Capaldi defended OK(ish).
Batt, Raynes and Heslop were frankly awful.
Clarke was uncertain.
Chapman couldn't pass the ball.
Potter was lively but in crab mode.
Boeteng was crude but didn't make any howlers.
Was Rigg on the pitch?
Smalley was used in a totally wasteful way. I'm still nowhere near convinced he's a L2 striker - he's certainly no good on his own.
Craddock got upset about some fairly unwarranted stick he was getting from some of our 'supporters'.

The manager was terrible. The way we play is slow and predictable. There is no Plan B and not much of a Plan A most of the time ('hoof it to Smalley after arsing around with it' doesn't count). He is slow to react to what is happening on the pitch and is now regularly out thought by other managers.

At the start of the season, I was in the 'Give Wilder a bit more time' camp. But I can't say that there is any evidence that he has learnt from the mistakes of last season. We have got some decent players, but for some reason (man management? tactical naivety?) he can't get anything like the best out of them.  I think it's time he went. Either to another job, or IL needs to take action otherwise this season is going to slide down the tubes quicker than last night's curry. At the moment I am hoping there are two worse teams than us in this league or we'll all be going to Barrow again...

Hold on. Depressed? Irritated? Watching a mediocre Burton team beat us by 4 goals?

Maybe I took the steroids after all. Just the heart attack to look forward to now.

See you all next time - I won't get to Cheltenham - good luck to all who go!

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The Song Remains The Same (vs D&R L2)

Hello all -

It's nice to be back writing about the Yellows after a couple of weeks in the grip of a Siberian blast. Well, it was a bit snowy anyway. In the summer you can (sort of) forget about football for a while but in the middle of a season, it's a bit weird with no matches for a while. Which brings me to the subject of a 'mid-season break'.

When exactly would it be? I think it's generally proposed to be January. Well, we've just had a couple of weeks off in February - and freezing weather can strike anytime from November until March. If we'd had January off this year, there would have been no football from New Year until now. Doesn't bear thinking about really! And when exactly would the season end? Some time in June probably, unless there were weeks and weeks of Tuesday - Saturday - Tuesday - Saturday matches towards the end of the season.

Anyway, back to the point. Dagenham and Redbridge. Shot up the leagues and are just as quickly shooting down them again. Down in the nether regions of League 2. If there was any game that should be a gentle introduction back into actually playing football then a home game against the fast fading Daggers would surely be it.

Talking of introductions, there were some new faces at the club and in the squad named for the match. Oli Johnson (nearly new) was named up front with Beano and Scott Rendell (newer). Midfield was Hall, Mark Wilson (new) and Leven. At the back, Batt was still serving the longest two match ban in history so it was Davis, Wright, Doobs and Whing, with Clarke in goal as ever. On the bench were Worley, McLaren, Tonks, Mehdi Kerrouche (our refugee from DiCanio's circus down the road - very new indeed) and Lee Holmes (so new I doubt any of his team mates knew who he was).

So over all, three new or newish players starting and another two on the bench. It was almost back to pre-season discussions of 'gelling'!

We started out by kicking towards the fence end. The atmosphere was fairly muted, and wasn't helped by the poor turnout from D&R of about one hundred. Only just over 5,600 turned up in total - the rest didn't dare risk the wrath of their better halves on Valentine's Day! Still, the weather was OK, the surface looked good and there were some new players (and presumably revised formation and/or tactics) to run the rule over.

The first twenty five minutes. Hmm. I'd like to say they were forgettable. In fact I'd just like to forget them. Both sides were terrible. The ref was terrible. The atmosphere was terrible. We had absolutely nothing to shout about. No meaningingful shots from either side. No corners. Hardly any forward passes that reached their targets. No movement off the ball. Little shape. Throw-ins that gave the ball away, clearances straight to the opposition. And that was both sides. Were we as poor as we were in the first half at Burton? Yep. We didn't look quite as bad because the opposition was a damned sight worse though! A neutral observer would have had great difficulty telling apart the club staring at the Conference trapdoor from the one in a playoff position.

After twenty five minutes, a burst of excitement. Asa Hall (forgetting that our midfielders aren't supposed to go over the half way line unless they've got a note from their mums) found himself in front of goal with the ball passed through to him by Beano (who for much of the first half was some sort of extra left back - what was that all about?). But he hit it wide, past the left hand post. We all sat down again. Time passed. Clarke made a decent save with about five minutes of the half left. Nothing much happened and the ref put us all out of our misery by blowing for half time. The players left the pitch to a 'mixed' reception.

Well, where to start on that load of old rubbish? Barely a shot on target from either team, in fact not one at all on target from Oxford as far as I can remember. No width at all in the Oxford play, no crosses at all. Two poor teams, a poor match so far. Well, Burton had been similar, maybe the second half would see some much needed improvement in the entertainment. I was starting to regret not opting for the romantic candlelit dinner instead.

CW obviously thought that things needed shaking up as well. Asa Hall was taken off, and was replaced by Lee Holmes. Described by the official website as a 'left sided forward', we played him on the right. Ho hum. We also (I think) switched to a more 4-4-2 formation, with Rendell and Beano playing up front and Holmes, Leven, Wilson and Johnson in midfield.

After a minute or so of the half, we had a corner! Since the moments of excitement so far could be counted on the fingers of one hand by a bloke who had lost a couple of fingers, we all stood up expectantly. It was overhit and we all sat down again. Then another corner. Some people stood up, but the effort had been too much for some of us last time - so some didn't. It was woefully underhit.

And then the first moment of any quality in the game. Davis went past his man (not something any of the yellows had really attempted all match) and got to the goal line. He put in a great cross and there was Oli Johnson, in the right place at the right time to nod it in. Excellent. Surely that was the way forward. Run with the ball, get past and behind the defence and cross the ball. But that was the first and last time Davis managed it. A shame. A mark of how poor we had been was the fairly muted celebrations in the stands. True, Dagenham hadn't looked liked scoring any more than we had (up until we actually did!) but our tendency to give away stupid late goals at home against poor teams meant that confidence in the stands wasn't running high.

That pessimism was almost confirmed immediately. Dagenham went straight down to our end, and but for a clearance off the line by Johnson it would have been level. Up the other end, Holmes was now starting to show glimpses of his ability and gradually, gradually we were improving. We were putting more pressure on the Daggers goal than at any time in the match. Leven put a free kick wide of the post, a couple of decent crosses from Holmes came to nothing. But as far as shots on target were concerned, the only one had been the goal. Rendell and Beano both tried to improve that stat, but couldn't. Rendell was denied by the goalie, who did well to get out and smother the ball. Beano sliced one so wide it went for a throw in. That elusive second goal looked as unlikely to come as the first had. And when you are only one up...

... the inevitable often happens. A Dagenham corner was headed out of defence, the Oxford players stood stock still as a Dagenham player collected it. He had as much time as he wanted to cross the ball, since nobody was making any sort of move to close him down. He picked his spot and a largely unchallenged Dagger headed the ball past Clarke to equal the scores. Sigh. Not unexpected really. We keep doing it - giving away soft goals, often from crosses. Still, let's be positive - we haven't lost after going ahead. There was still 20 minutes or so to go though, and it almost got worse after another five minutes or so when a Daggers shot hit the outside of the post.

CW brought on Kerrouche to replace Rendell. Some numpties in the stand booed him. He soon shut them up. Judging by what little we saw of him (about 15 minutes) he has a good first touch. His very first touch was a first time ball to Johnson, who sent it straight on to Beano, who shot low past the goalkeeper to put Oxford back into the lead and himself into double figures for the season. Good stuff. Nice to see some quick movement up front, sometimes we are so ponderous. Is it a coincidence that our two goals had both been from bits of quick movement, with strikers moving into space? I think not.

There was still ten minutes to go plus injury time until the end. CW signalled his intentions by taking Johnson off and putting Tonkin on at left back. There were a few squeaky bum moments, mostly because our players gave some ridiculous free kicks away, but we survived. And that was it. The crowd didn't give the team much of an ovation - it was more relief than triumph. The team looked like they were let down by their own performance.

I haven't been so down after a home win for a long time. Admittedly we were generally better in the second half, but over all it was a very disappointing game indeed.

Thoughts in the car on the way home:

If we play at that level for the rest of the season, we can say goodbye to any thoughts of the playoffs.

The distribution out of defence was absolutely shocking. Duberry and Wright especially had very decent games in defence, but neither Doobs' horrible diagonal hoof or Wright's 15-yards-straight-to-an-opponent clearances are doing us any good whatsoever.

It is frustrating that with some players of undoubted quality, sometimes the team actually looks like less than the sum of its parts.

Dagenham were (from their perspective) perhaps unlucky not to nick a point, but they do look a desperately poor team - and with Northampton, Plymouth and Barnet picking up points it's not getting any easier down at the foot of the table.

On the positive side (let's cheer ourselves up) most of the new players look to have something about them. Holmes especially - maybe we could play him on the left. Just an idea. Like not playing Beano out wide - you can have that one for free, CW!

If we could start a game decently for a change, we might not find it so difficult to get on the front foot.

I probably won't make it to Brizzle, so good luck to the team on Saturday - give them a cheer from me.

Come On You Yellows!

Brewers Droop (vs Burton L2)

Hello all -

So, off up the M1 to Burton, making sure I kept two chevrons apart of course. Not my first time up that particular road this week as I'd popped up a stretch of it on Thursday on my way to Wolverhampton to see Half Man Half Biscuit live in Bilston. Very good they were too. The match had been moved to Sunday because Derby were at home in the cup on Saturday, and Burton share their stewards. Hmm. Football on a Sunday afternoon is unnatural and agin God.

Anyway, got to Burton in decent time, and managed to park in the £2 car park near the ground. Usually I'm a bit later and end up leaving the jalopy in the industrial estate near the MacDonalds and Screwfix. There aren't any signs there about not parking, but I always walk back to the car expecting it to have been towed away! £2 for a bit of peace of mind isn't bad I suppose.

Into the ground (a very reasonable £14) and into the terrace behind the goal. The Pirelli Stadium is a neat enough, if small, ground with terracing around three sides and seating, press, directors boxes etc on the other. As kickoff approached, the stadium filled up a little and the teams were read out. Batt was missing (suspended for this and the Barnet game) so Andy Whing moved into right back and Hall came into the midfield. Probably as expected really.

A horrible monstrosity of a mascot called (I think) Bettie the Brewer, carrying a yellow handbag paraded in front of the stand to our right. The Burton 'singing section' was in that stand, comprising twelve (I counted them) pre-pubescant lads and an embarassed looking girl. Still, they afforded us much amusement throughout the match... The Burton support behind the other goal (in the Don Amott 'King of Caravans' stand!) were remarkably quiet all match. Although they'd obviously spent a lot a time sat at the sewing machines making banners. It's good to see that Kirsty Allsop's Handmade Britain has had such an effect on the football lovers of Staffordshire.

Burton were wearing yellow and black stripes, and confirmed their waspiness by buzzing about industriously straight from the kickoff. In contrast, the only garden wildlife reference I can apply to the men in the blue and white change strip is 'sluggish'. Buton were kicking towards us, and all the action was down our end of the pitch. The Oxford midfield went missing almost completely and immediately, giving the ball away all the time and not challenging or closing down the Burton players. I don't understand really. Although we nominally play a 4-3-3, surely that should become a 4-5-1 when we haven't got the ball. So where are those five 'midfielders'? Well the three proper midfielders (Hall, Leven and Heslop in this case) were far too close to the defence most of the time. And the two wide attackers who were presumably supposed to be helping out were still stuck too wide and too far up the pitch. Leaving a bloody great hole in the middle of the formation, with the midfield not having the speed or mobility to move into it quickly enough to make a difference. The Burton midfield had as much time and space as they wanted, and it was only a matter of time before they turned the possession into a goal.

It came after about a quarter of an hour. Clarke made a decent save, but from the resulting corner (which was taken short) the ball was simply passed into our penalty area and thumped goalwards. It took a bit of a deflection, leaving Clarke helpless. One down and, to be honest, we were getting what we deserved. The game continued in similar vein. The Oxford defence were actually doing OK under constant pressure, Heslop started to get his act together a little and made some useful challenges in the midfield, but it was still one-way traffic. Burton didn't really use the space they were being given very well, the most notable attack being a through ball that was well dealt with by Liam Davis. You may have noticed that I haven't been saying much about the Oxford attack. There's a reason for that. We were hardly up the other end at all, and we certainly weren't shooting when we were. The Oxford faithful were getting restless. 'This is embarassing' was the chant from some. Not particularly supportive maybe, but entirely accurate. The tackling was non-existant, the movement off the ball lacking. There was no accuracy at all in the passing. The ball went into the air far too much - and usually straight to a wasp. It was a depressing display. A corner after about half an hour lead to our first shot, with Heslop blasting over the bar. JPP then had what looked like a decent shot blocked. And half time came.

Blimey. Probably the worst half of football I'd seen from us this season. We looked like a bottom of the table side, not one challenging for the playoffs. The only good thing was that we were only one down - due to the decent effort by the Oxford defence in general (Andy Whing in particular, who was having a solid game at right back) and the lack of cutting edge in the Burton attack (I'm glad we didn't sign Zola over the summer!).

As far as I was concerned at half time, there were two racing certainties for the second half. We would concede more goals, and Beano would get sent off. He'd talked himself into the book jsut before the break, and you got the feeling that the (inconsistent) ref would not need much of an excuse to wave a second yellow at him. Nor for the first time (or the last, I am sure) I got it wrong.

I suspect that the dressing-room crockery at Burton might need replacing. CW obviously gave the team a bollocking, and livened the team up by making them dodge china and flying hot beverages for ten minutes or so.

As the teams came out for the second half, the lightweight and rather ineffective Hall had been replaced by Oli Johnson, which showed attacking intent. Although that left Leven and Heslop as the 'proper' midfield. Mind you, the midfield couldn't be less effective than it had been in the first half even with only two in there!

The second half started, and there was an immediate change. The Oxford players were suddenly a yard of two quicker, the tackling was at least being attempted. Johnson looked useful, linking the (still too deep) midfield with the strikers. Alfie Potter was also coming into his own. He made one jinking run that ended up with him just failing to get past the Burton keeper at the far post, just in front of us. Proving that those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them, the Burton defence failed to stop him a second time. This time he made no mistake after his enterprising dribbling and equalised inside the same post! An excellent individual goal (which is generally the type we rely on) had brought us right back into the match. Constable put one just wide of the post, and the referee missed a blatant handball by a Burton defender inside the box. Potter blazed over when he should have at least hit the target, Peter Leven's flying header was unfortunately straight at the Burton keeper. Burton had a header hit wide of the goal and a shot into the side netting, so there were chances at both ends. The preschool choir to our right tried an 'Is that all you take away?". Yep, at least double and probably nearly treble what you took to us. Mind you, ever mindful of child safely, we enquired whether their mothers knew they were at the match. Very thoughtful. We then warned the single girl amongst them about the danger of unnatural sexual acts - she assured us (through the medium of mime) that in fact she did not do such things. Much to the chagrin of the lad standing next to her.

Peter Leven missed narrowly from a free kick, and there were a couple of scrambles in the Burton area (including another penalty shout) but it all came to nothing and the ref blew up to end the match all square.

A match of two halves if there ever was one. After the first half I was glad we were only one down and was just hoping we wouldn't be beaten too badly. After the second, I was disappointed we hadn't taken all three points. In fact, this one match had summed up our inconsistent season yet again.

Thoughts afterwards:

We need to sort the midfield out. Whether that's a new player, or simply reorganising what we've got I don't know/care. But it needs doing, and quickly if we are to be challenging at the end of the season.

We are now in the last playoff place but we are six points behind the team above us. So we are one of at least half a dozen teams competing for that last place.

Doobs - that horrible diagonal cross field ball to nobody in particular. Don't bother. Really.

My men of the match? Whing in the first half, Alfie in the second.

We need to start actually winning matches and quickly. An away draw at Burton is an OK result, but not when it follows two home matches in which we have managed one point. A home match at Barnet next Saturday might give us the chance to put three points on the board. Maybe there will be a new player or two to bolster the ranks?

It's never dull, is it?!!! See you next time, I'm off to listen to some HMHB.