Shut up, Granville! (vs Rotherham, L2)

At last. The start of the new season, the phoney war of preseason is over and the proper stuff is underway.

First up - Rotherham. Last season's visit was a fairly miserable affair, losing 2-1 and not playing very well. Only relieved by the comedy value of watching the 8ft Ben Futcher being out-headed by a succession of Rotherham players half his height!

For me, it's just a couple of hours up the M1. If I had a better car it would only be an hour and a half and three points on the license, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose. So, a quick potter (more of him later) up the M1 (enlivened by some thumbs ups and honking from a couple of other cars full of yellows on their way to the match), a quick bit of parking on the hill outside the stadium, some yummy sandwiches wot I made myself and all was ready.

Actually, why does the Don Valley Stadium (Sheffield) which has a capacity of (I'd guess) 20,000, not have enough on-site car parking to accomodate 4,000 people for a League 2 football match? There are enough derelict buildings (sorry 'freehold business opportunities') around the stadium for someone with a bulldozer to create some decent car parks in about 10 minutes.

The stadium itself is of course an athletics stadium, with all the attendant problems that causes (track between the seats and the pitch, 16,000 empty seats staring at you all match, crappy PA system which is OK for music but inadequate for a shouty announcer etc) and the away fans are housed in one corner. Add that to the fact that the Rotherham fans have obviously been served with a Noise Abatement Order so they make as little noise as possible, and it all leads to a terrible football supporting experience. I'm sure the Rotherham fans hate it as well, mind you, and I wish them all the luck in the world with their new home which is actually in Rotherham. Which is nice.

There were three surprises to start with. Firstly we were playing in yellow and blue (the 'home') kit. Hoo-bloody-ray! It looks much nicer than last years stripey abomination, which I ended up hating, and I much prefer us to wear our proper colours whenever we can. The second surprise was the formation. 4-4-2. Clarke at the back, with Batt, Wright, Duberry and Tonkin behind Hall, Whing, Payne and Davis with Constable and Smalley up front together. Now I can't remember that team/formation playing any of the preseason matches for any length of time, if at all. Might it have been an idea to do so? The third, pleasant, surprise was spotting Scoob, who I had gone to the Southend match with. I said hello, and we found some seats.

After the usual formalities and some good singing from the Oxford support (the Rotherham fans just preferred to sit and listen - we must be very good!) the team kicked off, playing umm diagonally away from the support.

The first ten minutes were all a bit huff and puff from both sides, with few real chances. Beano had a half chance header and after about 15 minutes we had our nearest attempt at a goal. Hall climbed well from a corner (Edit - having watched the highlights - no he didn't, he stooped from a free kick!), and his downward header looked (well we were a long way away) like going in, but hit the bottom of the post. It rebounded out to Duberry who blasted over from five yards or so - not such a bad miss as that sounds, the ball came to him very quickly.

The next 20 minutes were fairly even, with us probably shading it - but in truth neither team seemed likely to score. As the half wore on, there were danger signs though. Our passing was getting sloppier and sloppier, the ball was no longer being passed out of defence but being hoofed in the air by the defenders somewhere, anywhere up the pitch towards Smalley and Beano who were getting very little change indeed out of the Millers' defence. Not that their attack was having an easy time of it either - our defence was looking OK at stopping them. Our midfield however was not. Payne and Hall, who had looked alright in preseason were anything but alright in actual league football. The ball was being lost easily and often, possession given away. The ball was constantly coming back at the defenders - hence their desire to get it as far away as quickly as possible.

Half time came with us looking second best. Rotherham hadn't had to do much really, just keep the ball more efficiently than we did. Any later in the season and I 'd have said that the whole affair looked like a midtable stalemate. Still it was 0-0 at halftime. CW would doubtless have words and I was hoping that he would take the opportunity to make midfield changes. Oddly enough (and remember we were a milion miles from the pitch) we could only make out 4 Oxford subs warming up on the pitch at half time. It looked like Leven was missing or was it maybe Heslop?

As the trams rattled past the stadium, the teams ran out for the second half. No changes for us. Pity. The Millers kept our boys waiting for a while, but eventually managed to get all the juice they could out of their orange quarters and deigned to join in.

The second half started much as the first had ended, but even so, it was a shock when Rotherham went ahead. A Miller simply shot at the goal (note for our strikers: it's that white rectangle with the netting, in case you'd forgotten) caught the ball beautifully and gave Clarke no chance. Arse.

The Rotherham fans briefly livened up, but it didn't last for long. An Oxford chant of 'You only sing when you're winning' shortly afterwards petered out when we realised that they in fact weren't. In fact they were so quiet you could hear individual shouts from their supporters (hence the 'Shut up, Granville' which made us laugh!). Almost immediately Beano found himself with the ball in the Rotherham penalty area, but the ball got stuck under his feet and the chance was lost.

Rather later than I'd hoped, Payne made way for Potter. Personally I'd have subbed Hall, but you can't really argue with the idea, just the timing. Now Rotherham had obviously worked out a plan to deal with Potter. They had put very stong electromagnets in his boots. Every time he got the ball, they used a remote control to turn them on. The result was that instead of heading towards the goal (where I am sure he meant to go) he was drawn towards the largest lump of nearby metal - the main stand. As this was behind the sideline, he just ran off course and dribbled the ball into touch. They then turned the magnets off so that nobody suspected. Fiendish.

We than had a series of free kicks and corners (down the Rotherham end obviously) which threatened to bring us back into the match. Davis looked as if he was fouled in the box, but instead of going down, he stayed on his feet and crossed the ball. It went all the way through to Constable on the right who put the ball back in across the face of the goal. It only needed a touch to put it in, but Smalley got confused, mistaking his head for his feet, and tried to head the daisy cutter on its way past. Unsurprisingly he missed and the ball went harmlessly past the far post. The set pieces during this period were notable for their quantity rather than their quality, and once they had passed Rotherham took control again.

Pittman came on for the solid Tonkin, and I never noticed him again during the rest of the match. Davis dropped back into Tonk's place at left back. It isn't a coincidence that most of Rotherham's best play for the rest of the game was down our left. Looks like Davis is a better wide midfielder than he is fullback.

Leven came on for the last ten minutes in place of Hall (how did he last 80 minutes?) but it made little difference. A blatant push on Duberry in the last few minutes in the Millers penalty area was ignored by the out-of-his-depth referee (who had made some odd decisions all afternoon, very few of them our way) and the lino - who had a shocking game generally. The lino got several throw in decisions wrong, waited for the ref to give them many other times and obviously doesn't know the rules for obstruction, as Beano was not only obstructed by two players at one point but also physically pushed off the ball to allow the defenders to get into the position where they could obstruct him!

But as the final whistle blew, it wasn't the officials fault that we had lost the match and played so poorly. Reading back what I have written it doesn't really give the full picture of our ineptitude for parts of the match. Basic passing skills were lacking all over the pitch. In same cases basic looking skills might also have helped as passes were made to people who either were't there at all, were running the other way or were simply wearing the wrong coloured shirt. The midfield was generally weak, losing the ball easily when we had it and not getting it back when we didn't.

I know it's a marathon not a sprint, but it's a shame we didn't hear the starting gun.

My MOTM - Duberry

Next Up - Cardiff in midweek. We'll have to play 100% better than we did today, or it will be embarassing.